i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
