so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
