can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
