i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize