we have officially lost it.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
