So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
