I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
its not stalking. its research.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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