No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
