PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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