ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
