"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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