So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
