Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
