OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
