If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
