My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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