If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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