Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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