wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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