So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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