Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
