just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dignity is for republicans.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You may now shotgun with the bride
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
