But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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