If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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