The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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