He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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