im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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