Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I could make wine with my vomit
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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