Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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