yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
