She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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