so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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