I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
