I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I puked a lego.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
