"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
