Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
