Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
