Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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