he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How external is "for external use only"?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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