C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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