Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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