The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
