My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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