Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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