i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
