New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
