that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize