when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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