Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize