Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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