why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
