I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
