put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
