i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
