So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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