The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
