Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
