Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
