you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
