Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
