i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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