I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
