I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
