WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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