Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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