May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize