white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You don't make any sense
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