sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
