Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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