mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
