i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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