Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
