he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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